Thought for the day

Let us ban all inspirational thoughts from our lives today! Dare to admit that it is all psychological cliché! Believe in yourself, let the light shine, you are an amazing being!

Really?

We are all human beings! Animals with a lethal weapon called intelligence!

We are all imperfect, we all get jealous, we all hurt others, we all cheat, we all lie, we all have sick or sickening thoughts, we all lose our temper. And the list goes on!

So for today dare to embrace your human condition – imperfection!

New Dimension and cooking

When my mother had the stroke three months ago, I went into a whirlpool of emotions. Looking back I see that I was in total denial, I was pulling back from that spot in existence where you have to standstill and allow, accept that you cannot always be in control.

Now I am discovering dimensions of my Self I never imagined existed. I am peacefully accepting this other I! Being able to love and provide love, care, comfort, attention and support to my frail mother is the most fulfilling and life-changing experience I have ever had. It is not as close as all she has done for me during my 45 years of existence and it is the very least I can do to allow her some serenity during this one more harsh journey.

Indeed, a mother is a teacher always!

Anyway, this is not meant to be an emotional text, but a share of my experience.

One of my biggest passions in life is cooking and baking. My mother’s frailty is teaching me that my healthy cooking is perhaps not healthy enough and I am in the process of rediscovering healthy cooking.

This morning, running out of imagination on soft, dairy free breakfasts, I have created (I think) the most amazing scrambled eggs. Here’s the recipe:

(Serves 4 – 5)
5 – 6 eggs
1/2 onion finely chopped
1 fennel bulb finely chopped
1 Roma tomato finely chopped
1/4 green pepper finely chopped
1/2 yellow sweet pepper finely chopped
Olive oil (enough to braise)
Salt to taste (I use pink salt)
Water (enough to braise)

In a pot (preferably cast iron), add onion, fennel and olive oil and fry on medium to high temperature until the onion and fennel are starting to golden. Add the peppers and stir fry until the peppers are slightly soft. Add the tomatoes and continue to stir until these start turning into purée.

Reduce the heat to low. Add water and salt and let it simmer, covered, stirring occasionally. Add little more water if necessary. When all ingredients are blended nicely and soft, purée all with a blender, until you obtain a thickish cream of veggies.

Add eggs and, on low heat, stir continuously until the mixture is the consistency of fine scrambled eggs (+/- 5 minutes).

Serve with healthy breads, add smoked salmon to the plate. Hope someone tries and enjoys and gives feedback.

Cheers

Still reflecting

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I want to write, but my emotions are all tangled. There is so much inside of me that when all tries to come out only hurts of messy thoughts burp out. It is not yet purging. This is the chaos inside trying to settle. That’s all.

I start somewhere.

As always, in harmony with nature. Mother Nature has been purging since the 5th of December. Mourning the departure of her beloved son and so will be until his physical body is laid to rest in her womb on Sunday the 15th. Tears roll down her face, not silently, but in bursts of loud cries, now drumming through the skies of Johannesburg, then with soft, musical tears, singing her lullaby to the children of Africa.

I am going back, stepping back through the sorrows of 2013. I want to cry, but I can’t yet! Although tears may wave out of my eyes, the depth of my soul remains seemingly dark, cold.

I am quietly awaiting the tumult that will bring it all up and out, still, gathering my strength for that ultimate cleansing roar.

Reflection

Yes this year was the worst in my life thus far. So many things have gone terribly wrong! All I take with me into the new year is this feeling that sometimes life just decides to force you into some cleansing phase. Even if you don’t immediately understand why, which is my case, you can at least have the hope that somewhere in the future you might come to understand it!

I strongly believe that life, the Universe, sends messages in many shapes and forms. This year I am failing to grasp some of them! I am sure I am missing some detail, perhaps I am looking with blinkers, not outside the box enough!

Right now I’m just too tired, exhausted in fact! I want to say goodbye to 2013 and step into 2014 with both my feet firmly on the ground.