Yes, I always return. The tides of stress and insane activity come in flows, rolling over and rolling me into life and action. But there’s always those moments that the sea spits us out into the calm and tranquil sands of a safety beach.
Now is one of these moments. I sit in the quietude of Zimbali, a slight breeze eases the heat of this autumn morning, taking in the stillness of nature, I could fall asleep right now.
As the ladies linger around sipping in teas, I sit and sip in a beer! To my mind the words “you will never fit in, stop trying and start living’ come to mind! I am an ordinary person, I live with an intensity that is hard to keep pace with! In me there’s always this truffle between the inner and the outer and sometimes the inner wins like today!
Here in this tiny spot of OBE experience (out of body experience), I give up the logical thinking, the prim and proper behavior, the convention, the expected, all demands of societal rules! Here in my own time away from the madness of humankind! There are no emails to answer and no pace to keep up with! It is just me! Me and the silence of nature, screaming, crying for your belonging! And I am!
Just like that…. It is the tiny birds that balance on a thin blade of grass, it is the odd wild plant growing amidst the well kept indigenous vegetation!, the loud bird that is a tiny as my index finger or the daring monkeys that want to grab in the hope of yummy food! And I become them and it!
While all men drink beer and play pool, the women clean the kitchen and drink tea, I sit outside in the veranda overlooking the sea, the distance between myself and normality growing bigger and stronger and all I can do, after helping with all I can, is to dive into this silence of mine that makes everyone around wonder what is this crazy woman up to, and all I am doing is write!
They cannot grasp! “They were not listening then, they are not listening still, perhaps they never will!’